This month has been miserable in t1 terms. I had 4 insets in 3 days, pump had issues, shots, bruises, even my finger pricks hurts, not to mention DKA, many bad sites, broken pump clip, and a few too many lows and highs which included ketones. It was a bit too much for me to handle all in one month. I have been ready for March to be over sadly since it started. And that does not even include all the physical issues unrelated to t1 like a wonderful stomach virus and loss of appetite which I never thought I would have an issue with. I never thought my world would be like it is today.
As much as I felt like my world was slowing going dark and I was all alone with this disease that would not give me a break I was reminded by my t1 family all around the world that I would never be alone not only because of them but because of God. He would put that specific person in my way that day of just loving me, listening to me, encouraging me to keep moving forward that I am not alone and I will never have to deal with this disease alone.
This month has been melt down city trying to be so strong and go to classes and after being in DKA having everyone one ask how you are doing and not wanting to lie, but at the same time being too exhausted to explain that DKA is when you feel like your body is being torn apart bit by bit and yes today I do feel better but nowhere near normal and it takes some time for it to heal. I do not lie so I say yes I feel better not great but better than I did.
Yeah this month was pretty awful however I was so blessed at the same time. Good thing I did not die from DKA or go into a coma. I was able to get it back under control eventually. I knew what was going on. I have Professors who support me and understand that sometimes I do not have control and have realized that they are truly willing to work with me when I am fighting my t1. I have friends who will put me a site in my arm when I am not capable of doing it. I have friends who know what a good bg is and know when something is not right to tell me to check my bg when my attitude is off. They are there for me when I just need someone to sit with make me smile or ask if I need anything and continue checking up on me and making sure my bg is good and that I am good.
I have t1 people who are truly amazing and are just there and all you say is a number and they know exactly what is going on and what to do. They remind me that I am not alone and it is not just me and they are praying for me and love me. They go in my world of darkness with flashlights and find me. They help me up and remind me that I am strong and can do anything thing. And they turn on the light which brings my world back to life and hope. My t1 people are amazing they help me with my supplies and always have perfect timing every time. I now do not have to worry about going low on supplies for a few months now because I have such amazing people and they are more than just people they are my family they are my t1 family.
Sure it was a difficult month however without my relationship with God, my t1 family, my family, and my friends is that I would not be where I am today. Every day they put up with me, they love me, they support me, and they are always there for me. I would be nothing without any of them. March did have some positives because there is always light in the darkest of places. It reminded me truly how blessed I am and if it was not for this terrible disease I would never have met any of these truly amazing people. I have had t1 for almost 8 years, 4 of those years I felt alone, now I feel truly loved and never alone. I will never be alone again though this disease. I pray that I will or possibly have changed someone through type 1 diabetes in some way. I love you all and I am so thankful that I have each and every one of you in my life in some way. This is the song that would alway puts a smile on my face and just makes me happy and feel so blessed please listen to it. It is Francesca Battistellia- This is the Stuff
Lots of Love,
Sarah Ray
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