One day

This has just been my thoughts I did not try to talk about one certain thing it was a few weeks ago I had a bad day and have just added to it on Hope and faith and it started out as a vent. I would not be able to be where I am today without any of you. I am so blessed. I plan on doing a blog on basal testing hopefully in the near future however I am not sure when.


I believe there will be a cure one day, however I catch myself wishing for one day of no diabetes just one day a year is all I ask, just one because some days I just want to pretend it does not exist, I want it nowhere near me. I want to be semi-normal. (Let’s face it, I will never be completely normal and I like that I am not normal) Some days I just want a break. I want to eat without checking, counting carbs, insulin all of it that involves t1. I just want normal. I would like to eat without thinking about the carbs and if that fat or fiber will affect me later. One free day of not being hooked up or have to carry around the meter or Capri suns. Just normal. I would like to not have to think about, will this affect my numbers always counting and recounting thinking why did this do that. I want to not have to have the terrible feeling of highs or lows and just be able to feel good. I would like to be able to say I am sleepy because I am, not because I am high. I would like to not be able to see the millions of holes in my fingers and scars from my sites. I want the tubing to not be there and think am I going to hook on that or that. Sometimes I just wish I could have a day off. Sadly I know it will not happen until there is a cure for t1. Then I think instead of wishing for one day I would always be off and I would not have to poke or count or anything that involved t1 I would be completely free. That has not happened yet however it will. Some days I wish for just one day off that’s it, one day of freedom. I am blessed that I am able to live a semi-normal life if I do not want people to know I have t1 I am capable of hiding and I can hide it well, however I really do not care if people know I have it, but I am constantly thinking about how I feel, did I remember this or that, why did my mood just change, and the list goes on. I think at the same time if I did not have t1, I would not have some really special people in my life or be able to have learned some of the many valuable things in my life, or know so much about eating healthy, or how my body works. Some days t1 is the worst thing in the world how dare my pancreas and auto immune system not work together and fight till the death. How dare my body reject me to the point of DKA or seizures, how dare it do that. I fight everyday with t1 and work hard at making it work with me and sometimes it just does not work with me and I ends up in pain, but I think…. Type 1 diabetes is not all bad, because I do not hate it, I get frustrated with it, however it is what it is and I have found that it is a part of me it has changed how I think of things and see things it has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. I do believe it should at least have time limit in my mind 10 years then it magically goes away and my immune system will again work with my pancreas. I pray that at my 10 year mark of t1 I will be healed and my immune system will again to continue to work with my pancreas if that means a cure I would be thrilled if that just means hope for me to look forward to a point in the future that I will have that one day that turns into everyday then I will continue to pray for one day of normal. One day I will be free, one day I will be normalish, one day….we will find a cure for type 1 diabetes